Much to my chagrin I followed my mom to her cousin’s 85th birthday party today.  I was dragging my feet on that one, but I made it there.  Apparently I promised her I’d go about three months ago.  I’m not so into making small talk with people I don’t know and would probably never see again, but my mom seemed happy.  Just as the excitement ensued though, my pager went off and I was called out. My sister thought I planned it. 

The call out was a coyote caper.  We’ve been getting a lot of those lately.  Coyotes are sort of like a mixture between kidnappers and slave traders.  A coyote will bring an illegal across the border and then demand more money before delivering him to his relatives.  Its big business here and it happens quite often.  Unfortunately, the coyotes never called back after the ransom call. We waited over three hours, but it was still better than that party.

January 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I decided to become a cop at the age of 10.  My uncle was in the FBI and he was my mentor.  I really don’t want my boys to be cops.  Society is not what it used to be.  There is no value system or respect.  It’s not just society though.  Cops have amongst the highest divorce rate of any profession.  Officers have terrible hours that can make family life difficult.  Sometimes I think my sons know that all to well.  Still, I don’t ever remember wishing I wasn’t a cop.

As a daughter I don’t believe I caused a lot of problems or grief.  I led a pretty boring teenage life, and never got into much trouble.  Now I find myself trying to find enough time to spend with my mother since she's become handicapped.  I struggle balancing work, being a good wife, mother, and daughter.  As a wife, I find myself being more patient and appreciative of my husband.  I don’t take things for granted.  I think now more than ever I am more sensitive to my husband’s needs as well as my children’s.  At the end of the day though I can’t help but think that my mother is still lonely and helpless, and perhaps I could have done more for her. 

January 5, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I define myself by the things I do and how others see me.  I’m told that I’m giving, very patient, and I care about others.  I like being a nurturer, and I’m glad I’m perceived that way, but I can’t help but wonder whether I care more about people, or their perceptions of me.

I go to work in casual clothes (Levis and a t-shirt) and I don’t feel real feminine in them.  I look around and see most women dressed in pink and matching outfits.  My son once commented on how my wardrobe revolves around black, and in a way I guess he’s right.  I hope one day I’ll feel more feminine.  In fact I have been shopping for more feminine type clothes lately.  Nothing crazy, just matching outfits and brighter colors.  I don’t think I’m ready for pink just yet.

January 4, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack