Today was the last day of 5-day handgun school.  I was eager to use my new .45 caliber handgun.  I like it a lot better than my .40; it shoots smoother.  My .45 would have to wait though as my son needed a ride to school.  I didn’t mind, but I didn’t want to miss the last day of class either. 

When I got to the range I felt like I wasn’t in my zone.   I dropped two rounds low on my target, and was one of only a few who didn’t get a perfect score.  I really wanted 100%.  I really settled for 96.  On the way home I nursed a massive headache through intense traffic.  You know its funny; rush hour always makes me wish I was back on that range with my .45.

My job is often as a negotiator, but it’s not always like it seems to be in the movies.  Actually, much of my time is spent negotiating with possible suicides in an effort to keep them alive.  I can’t say how successful I am because if a person decides to kill themselves is that a failure?  I don’t look at it that way.  There are people who are determined to kill themselves no matter what,  and some want us to kill them.  I try to convey that we are there to help, but if they decide to kill themselves, it is their decision.  I look at it as if they are sitting on a fence;  living or dying.  I'm trying to get them to live, but if they choose the other I didn’t fail. 

We train regularly for barricades, and we really do want to protect others and save lives.  We work as a team, and it feels good when everyone gets out safely.   Maybe it's not quite the movies, but it helps us sleep at night.